Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer

What Does Self-Government Mean As A Father?

What does self-government mean as a father? In this article, we're going to be talking a little bit about dad and who dad really is to his family and then how self-government principles can help dad become the best version of himself. Are you a dad? 

Do you want to have the greatest impact on your children that you possibly could? Do you want to help your children have changes of heart as well as changes of behavior and not have to be mean or aggressive to get them to have those changes? Well, that's what we're going to be talking about today is what we can do as parents, especially in a dad role, to help inspire our children to become strong, to become mature, and the best versions of themselves possible. So, what does it mean to be a father? What is your role as a father? Many people say well, a father is to preside or to protect or to provide. What do those things really mean to the heart of a child? They mean security. 

A father offers security to his family and when a father does not give security to his children and his spouse, then everybody feels a little bit lost. They get a little bit sucked into the things in the world that maybe dad even wishes they wouldn't be sucked into. So, it is up to dad to be this pillar of strength in the home. That doesn't mean he dominates though, so we have to be really careful about that. I think that oftentimes dad is given sort of a bad name like either he's a buffoon which is often shown nowadays in modern media which I definitely don't agree with or he's shown as this dictatorial, militant, non-caring, well that's not strong. 

So, what does it really mean to be strong and to offer that security and strength to the family? Well, what that means is is that he gets on the same page with his wife and he leads and teaches those children with principle and with the truth. There is nothing that brings more security to a family than to have one of their leaders governing themselves by truth and just so you know getting angry, having to get mad, using violence or threats, power struggling, none of those things are based on truth. Those are all manipulations. Even the passive father who does nothing, who just wants to maintain friendship and be on his phone and not be disturbed is still manipulating the environment and not doing the teaching that he should. He's not offering the truth to the children, instead, he's offering whatever I want, whatever feels good, whatever's easier is better, that's an untruth and the children sadly could take it as a truth. 

Some key things that dad can do to maintain this strength as to unify with mom. Now, I know oftentimes mom and dad have different parenting styles because well, they're different sexes and they were often raised in different homes, in different ways and so because of that, they've got to come together to truly be unified. This means that each person has to be humble and teachable and they need to find principles that work. So, I teach all about self-government and I talk about how there are really 3 different types of parenting. 

There's bully fear-based, there's the passive modern progressive type permissive parenting and then there's traditional strict parenting. A traditional strict parent governs themselves and their family by principle. The only way for a bully and a permissive or passive person to come together in their parenting is to unify on principle and truth and dad can do that. Mom can try all she wants on her own but if dad doesn't do it, he will turn the hearts of his children ultimately away from truth and principle. This is the sad truth. In all of the years, 20 somewhat years now I've been teaching this, that's what I see when the children hit about age 12, they start looking to their dad as the example. 

If dad is not a good example, it takes an awful lot of work to have them not follow his direction and the way that he is showing them that they need to live. So, if dad recognizes he will be the example that launches those children off into maturity and adulthood, then hopefully he will take that responsibility to be that pillar of strength and provide the truth to the children really seriously. To touch the hearts of our children, we've got to actually speak with their hearts. We've got to have good open communication, not just drop the hammer of authority all of the time and there are definitely ways that you can do that. So, that brings me to self-government. 

How can self-government help dad? So, before I get to my key points about self-government, helping the father in the family relationship, I'd like to invite you to hit the subscribe button on this channel right now. There are videos like this about self-government and parenting and communication and self-control that come out on this channel every single day and I don't want you to miss them. You'll really be happy you subscribed so subscribe now. 

So, how does self-government help dad? Well, if you understand that self-government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them, then that helps dad recognize that to have the greatest impact on his children, he actually needs to be the example of self-government. The only way to be an example of self-government is to govern yourself. So, how does dad learn to control himself so that he can set the example for his children? Well, there are 4 basic self-government skills that children can learn that take care of 99% of their behavioral problems. Well, guess what? Those 4 basic skills can also be used by dad. So, what are the 4 basic skills? They are following instructions, accepting "no" answers and criticism, accepting consequences, and disagreeing appropriately. 

Now, each of these skills has a skill set attached to it, which means there are certain steps for these skills. These skills are for adults and children. We all need to know how to do these things for optimal happiness in life but there is 1 step that occurs in every single one of those 4 basic skills and that is the step to keep a calm face, voice, and body. So, does dad know what it means to have a calm face, voice, and body? Have you analyzed it for yourself? Have you said to wait, when I talk like this that's definitely not calm? In fact, I feel myself trying to control another person. 

Our main emphasis needs to be put on controlling ourselves. There's actually a calmness skill that I developed for myself when I was doing treatment foster care. In fact, my husband has also used the skill because he definitely does not have patience by nature and he needed to have something to hold on to. This skill is something that I'm going to share with you at the end of this video because I have a free gift so that you can get that skill. Dad also needs to have skills for how to correct the problem. So, he needs words to say. So, dad, I want you to think about this. 

I want you to think what is it that you say when the children talk back to you? What feeling happens within you when they start to disrespect you or they start to disrespect the family or your wife or some of your other children? What is it that goes through your mind and heart at that time? Probably there's frustration, there's a little bit of anger, some people tense up in certain ways. 

You need to know exactly what those things are that happen to you and then you need to be able to give yourself a "no" answer. You say no, I'm not going to do that, and then what am I going to do? I'm going to say these words that I already plan to say. So, if you have to, then you would sit down and you would write down the exact words that you are going to say every time you correct negative behavior, that's what I had to do, that's what my husband had to do and I'm happy to share all of those skills with you. 

In fact, that's what the whole teaching self-government course and the program are all about is teaching parents the skills that they need for success. But there is a great first skill that you should start with and that is the skill of calmness.

Post a Comment for "What Does Self-Government Mean As A Father?"