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How Does Family Environment Affect Child?

A. Every Family Has a Background

Hi, I'm nichpeek, and I am the owner of teaching self-government which is a parenting program that teaches family members how to take ownership over their own behaviors and how to have a change of heart. In this article, we're going to be talking about how the family environment and background influence child development. 

Every family has a background. We all have a story. Sometimes our background is something we have to overcome and sometimes it's something that strengthens us. But our family background no matter whether it strengthens us or it created obstacles in our lives, actually makes us who we are. It forms our identity. 

So, it's super important to know how to form your family so that the background for your children can lead to better child development. Here are some tips for how to strengthen your family environment so that you can have the greatest impact on good development for your children. 

B. Environment Is Everything

The environment definitely is a factor in how a child develops. In fact, in the teaching self-government program that I teach, I talk about how we have to create a family government or family culture to create an environment where a person will learn self-government? What is a family culture? Family culture is literally the nourishing place where a person grows.

It is the place that forms our ideas, our thoughts, provides us with the lens through that we will see the entire world. Families are in control of that lens for a period of time. And then they are also the ones who get to decide who else gets to impact the lens of that child as they grow. We have to take that responsibility very seriously. 

For instance, in our family, we decided a long time ago that just because something was raided a certain thing by a game company or you know an article guild or movie guild or whoever does the ratings, that didn't mean that we were going to trust it for our culture and our standards as a family. So, we decided that we would preview the majority of the things that we would ever show our children. 

This meant that even PG movies were sometimes previewed because I didn't want to show my children things with attitude problems when they were young. Why would I do that? Why would I teach my children to have attitude problems? That attitude problems are somehow funny controlling or desirable? Because that's what they get to see when they see movies child movies even that have attitude problems and cheeky humor. 

So, parents get that but the children get something completely different out of it and they start acting out in those same ways. So, we preview. This is us deciding to be the lens for the children. And then as they grow older and older, they can get exposed to more things because they've got a good foundation, a good grounding in that family culture that we've created. 

There are many other aspects to our family culture. For instance, we have good communication skills. We decided a long time ago that we would have good problem-solving skills that we would use together as a family. And we would meet together often to discuss how we were doing at our communication and of becoming the type of family that we wanted to be. 

C. Responsibility For Success

One thing that makes a great family environment is for every person to know that they are in charge of their own success, that they don't get to use anybody else for an excuse for whether they're happy or sad. Whether they did well or didn't. They learn self-government. Self-government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them. 

We taught our children how to see themselves through the lens of self-government. So, am I governing myself? Which direction am I going? Do I want to make a change? How is my mood? How is my tone? How am I coming across to other people? Am I making the point that I want to in the way that I want to? Could I communicate in any more effective ways? Those are all self-government questions that a person would ask themselves. 

We help them prepare for self-government by creating an environment in our home that establishes self-government as part of our home culture. One of the things we do is teach certain skills. We teach a person how to follow instructions, accept no answers, accept consequences, and disagree appropriately. 

We also teach children how to have effective meetings as a family. So, in my course, the teaching self-government course, and in this book Parenting: A House United, I talk about how to have effective family communication, how to have meetings so that the children do take ownership of their own decisions. And they help take ownership of the family too. 

They don't feel like the parents are just doing stuff to them. But that everybody's working together to get along better for a shared goal, a vision. Also in this book, I talk about having a vision for the future for your family. I talk about creating a family vision of who you're becoming 10 or 20 years in the future. So, how does the environment actually impact the development of the child? 

D. The Child Will Feel More Secure

They'll have more purpose when they feel like they know where they're going. The family vision and the meetings and the deliberate discussions about what they're doing with their behaviors and where they're going help the child develop a sense of purpose. And a sense of security. They love boundaries, they love plans, they love knowing what's coming next. 

When a family is preparing ahead and for how they'll solve their problems, then the children feel like they don't need to worry about making mistakes, or what will happen if things don't go right. It decreases the anxiety of children when families have a deliberate plan for where they're going. Don't we all want our children to be just a little bit more secure? Yes. 

E. Connecting As A Group

So, we've got to plan ahead. When you deliberately decide as a family how you will connect together as a group, through meetings, and through communication by looking in each other's eyes, talking in a certain way about problems; this establishes a very secure bond or connection for the children. That bond and connection help them know what is true. When they feel a connection with you, they're going to listen to what you have to say even more. 

This helps them absorb more of your teachings. That's a fantastic developmental result of a child that lives in a really functioning home. Also, they have a greater sense of well-being when they have a connection that is strong with their family members especially their parents. When children don't have the opportunity to connect often and in really meaningful ways with their parents, they have a sense of being alone. 

They worry more, they stress more and they're often not as good at social interactions The family is the first social unit of society. It is the first social unit that any personal experiences. It is literally the training ground for social unless we turn our children over to the media or friends of the same age to learn their social skills. Which I hope we would never do. 

F. Good Character

The family teaches our children how to get along with others, how to solve problems with others, how to reach out in love, how to show appreciation, how to be okay when things don't go right. How to survive and create and work. 

These are all character development qualities. That is probably one of the most significant bonuses of having a good, strong family culture that's based on self-government. Is the child develops a good character? If the parents are self-governing, they're being honest. 

Manipulations like emotions and threats, those are all lies. And they feel like lies to the child. But when you have planned words that you're going to be saying to the child when something goes wrong, then that child knows you're telling the truth. Especially because you taught it to them before you ever used those skills or corrected the problem in that way. 

This predictability based on honesty allows them to trust you and to focus the majority of their efforts on their own character development. When a child has a parent who's honest and calm and straightforward in their parenting, then the child analyzes themselves and compares themselves to their parent. 

G. The Biggest Perk

So, here's the biggest perk to their development. When you have a great family culture based on self-government, honesty, freedom, good communication your children will want to be just like you. I know that doesn't seem like a normal thing for a child to want nowadays. But it used to be a normal thing. It used to be that children wanted to turn out to be just like their parents. 

In fact, instead of parents dressing like children which is what's happening nowadays, the children were always dressing like their parents. Putting on button-down shirts and slacks and dresses that looked nice for parties because that's what their parents did. They wanted to grow up. Now, our society wants everybody not to grow up. 

I think part of that rests in the development of the children that's happening in the homes, the schools, and society at large. We're not teaching the children to trust their parents. If they trust you and your leadership, they'll want to be just like you. And you know they'll find more happiness there. There are so many more things that I could talk about related to good child development. 

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