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How To Support Children's Emotional Well-Being

Children are experiencing more emotional stress than ever before. Why? And what can we do about it? Let's look at this problem of a child's emotional well-being through the lens of self-government. Self-government allows a person to examine themselves. 

To have self-government, a person has to be in the habit of analyzing themselves again and again. This analysis forms because of a deep relationship bond with family members around them. There's a feeling of safety that is inherent in a person that learns self-mastery. 

They know that if they find something wrong with themselves, it's not the end of the world. They can just fix it and move on. There's an empowerment that comes with learning how to govern yourself. This empowerment can do great things for a person who is struggling with their own emotional well-being. In this article, we're gonna talk about the difference between emotional stress and emotional well-being. 

Which I think is going to help you understand some of the key components of why a lack of emotional well-being is so prevalent today. Then I'll share with you four factors for creating emotionally strong children. First, emotional stress. What does that look like? For many people it looks like not measuring up, not being connected in, and not having a direction that they're going that really means anything. Many people who have emotional stress feel alone. 

They don't feel like they have anyone to follow and no one to support them. Which means they're lacking a role model in their lives. But probably the thing that we noticed the most about people who have emotional stress or do not have a good sense of emotional well-being is that they're overwhelmed by so many things. They're overwhelmed by their choices and they're overwhelmed by their future. 

Having a good sense of emotional well-being is what I call being emotionally strong. An emotionally strong person has a vision or a picture of where they're going in the future. They also have someone to follow. Their parent usually has been great leaders and directors in their lives. 

They've pointed them in the right direction and help them make the right choices again and again over the course of their lives until they are confident enough that they know the right choices to make on their own. To create this bond and this vision that a person needs to have this emotional strength usually requires also having a vision for the family and who the family group is. 

So, that the person isn't just living life for themselves but they have a greater purpose. An emotionally strong person knows where they're going in life. They know what leads to happiness. And this is started by the family being on the right track as a group. I have another article on this blog that talks about creating a family vision. I highly recommend looking at some of those other articles. 

When a person is in this type of family environment, another factor is in place that helps them be emotionally strong and that is that they're not competing with anyone around them. Instead, they're focusing on connecting with all of these people, unifying with them, working together, being honest with them; this brings them lots of focus. 

One of the most noticeable characteristics of a person who has good emotional well-being or strength is that they know how to communicate with other people. They know how to be understood, they know how to get their way, they know how to problem-solve with others. And they don't get shut down. Here are 4 factors for creating emotionally strong children. 

Number 1, The Bond. You have to be bonded and connected to your children if they are going to feel comfortable with who they are. You're the first person that came into their life. You're the one that shows them what it's all about. If you're disconnected from them because they made it that way or you made it that way, then they are going to have a hard time accepting who they are. Because they came from you. 

Factor number 2, they need moral direction which means you need to teach them what's right and wrong, good and bad, true and false. Understanding these moral opposites gives security and direction to everyone. If we don't make it clear what is truly right and wrong, then they can't decode their world. How insecure could it make a person feel if everything around them is so confusing? It's understanding what's right and wrong, good and bad, true and false that eliminates all the confusion. They have to know these things. 

Because when they go to school or when they see things in the media or read books if they don't have a foundation, they're going to be tossed to and fro. What's true? Is that true? I don't know. That's what's going to happen to them if you don't give them that foundation. So, that they can hold on to it and compare everything to it. 

When the teacher says something at school they can say, "Is that true? How does that compare with the other truths that I've been taught?" They can question in a healthy way which in the end makes them more open-minded. Not closed-minded like people who don't even have a full foundation. 

When people have this great moral foundation, they actually are more productive in their lives and they're happier with my foster children, whenever they were home for the summer and we were doing the foster care through the summer, they were happier. 

They accomplished more things. They were more driven in their pursuits. They weren't lazy. They were calm and bonded and peaceful. Less drama. Because they were in an environment that upheld the morals that they knew to be true. Finally, there wasn't confusion and drama coming from peers and other sources at school. I'm not saying schools badly. 

But I am saying it can be confusing. And we need to prepare our children to navigate the world by giving them a good moral foundation. Factor number 4 is to lower anxiety by having a more predictable conversation and skill development. Lots of times children who are struggling with their emotional well-being have anxiety. They worry. They wonder if they're doing things correctly or not. So, what we need to do is give them the tools they need to succeed. 

Do your children have the skills they need to solve their life's problems to get along with friends and family members? To share their opinions and to be understood. If not, they probably need skill development. In our family, we teach our children 4 basic skills. 

These 4 basic skills take care of 99% of their behavioral problems. They help them be understood and they help them solve their problems. The 4 skills are following instructions, accepting no answers and criticism, accepting consequences, and disagreeing appropriately. Which is their favorite one. Because that really helps them get their way. 

There are many other articles on this blog that talk about using those four basic skills. So, look for those and you can get more help there. Factor number four is to learn to communicate for future success and happiness. If the children can learn how to communicate openly with their parents, then they'll have a greater chance for better communication at school, with peers, to get jobs later in life. 

They'll just feel more confident. When a person seeks to understand another person, that sets them free. Their relationship can improve. And it also opens the door for that other person that they're talking to understand them. If a person doesn't feel understood, they will always feel small. And emotionally, that's hard to take. 

If they don't know how to communicate with you, they will resort to using emotions every time. The emotional part of the brain is the oldest part of our brain. The logical part in the front, the prefrontal cortex develops slowly over time. 

In fact, when their children are children in your home, it doesn't fully develop. So, what you need to do is help that development to occur more and more so that they don't always revert back to the emotional to solve their problems. Communication skills equal power. 

Children need us to be invested in their emotional success in a different way than society is doing right now. Society is just pampering the children placating their fears. Trying to make it so that they don't have to solve any problems. 

That doesn't make emotional strength and emotional security. It just makes them more vulnerable. It makes a person not feel equipped to handle the next problem that comes along. They'll always need someone to tell them what to do. That is emotional weakness, not emotional strength. We need to give them the tools that they need to bond improve their relationships and solve their problems. 

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