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How To Prevent Your Kid From Being Bullied


Do you want to know how to prevent your kid from being bullied? Well, I'm Nicholeen Peck, I'm a parenting relationships expert and that is what we are talking about in this article today.

Let's talk about this. There are ways to prevent your child from being bullied, whether they've been bullied before or whether you're just going, "I don't want my child to ever be bullied. I want them to have the kind of strength so that that's not an issue for them." All the things we're talking about today will apply to either one of those scenarios so let's get started. 

Differences In A Child Before And After Being Bullied

The key difference from helping a child before they've been bullied and after they've had some bullying already occur is that before a child ever gets bullied, they need to have confidence and they need to have strength. When after a child has already been bullied, they need more skills. 

In fact, both sides need skills but the child who's already been bullied before has got to have something really concrete to hold on to and that's where your skills come in. So, we're going to be talking about some of those skills and how to create that additional strength and confidence in this story today. The first tip that I have for you today might actually surprise you. 

How Improving Your Home Environment

One of the ways that you teach your child to become strong and to increase their confidence is actually by improving the home environment. So, if your home is a really bonded connected place, if they talk openly with you about things, they have a good connection with you and you are a relationship is in a really good place, then chances are they will actually have increased confidence or at least more confident than the run-of-the-mill child who maybe doesn't spend as much time talking to their parents. 

When they are in the habit of conversing with you about day-to-day things and having open conversations with you, then the prefrontal cortex of their brain develops more and they're able to solve their problems. 

The increased ability to solve problems will increase their confidence and make them an unlikely target for a bully, so that's super important. Now, if your child has already been bullied before, they still need this bonding time with you. It's important for you to develop an open conversation with them and for you to teach them how to mature. 

How Increased Maturity Helps Avoid Bullying 

Did you know that when a child is maturing or a child feels more mature then a bully will usually leave them alone? In fact, what the bully does not want is someone to see through what they're doing. So, we can prepare our children to see through what the bully is doing very easily. 

Before I get to my next point, I just want to ask you a question. Have you noticed any change in the bully culture that we have right now in our society? I feel like there have definitely been some changes, maybe you have to. What are you seeing? More bullies? Less bullying? Why are people bullying too? That would be really interesting, and in your comments, don't bully each other, okay? This bond that we're creating in our relationship with our children actually has the potential to bring them to the truth. So, here's the thing. 

Importance Of Understanding The Differences Between Truths And Lies

When a child is being bullied or I know some of the people reading this article might be thinking, "I just don't want my child to ever be bullied," what we need to remember is that the words that are being shared by a bully or maybe even some of the actions are all manipulative, which means that they're lies

So, to make it so that your child does not fall victim to these manipulations or lies that a bully might use, then we need to make sure that our children understand the difference between truth and lie. In fact, now we're hitting a spiritual zone. 

When you want your child to not be bullied, you need to make sure that you are infusing them with truth and light and love, that's why that bond that you have with your child is so vital because it's that relationship that is going to teach them what is really true, what feels like real love and real light and that's what they need to be able to expose the lies that a bully might push at them. So, your child needs to know what it feels like when they hear a truth or they experience truth and what it feels like when they experience a lie. 

Oftentimes, the children that are bullied are believing something that the bully is saying. Maybe they believe the bully will do mean things to them, maybe they believe that what the bully is saying to them about, you know, how nobody likes them or whatever it is that they're making up. 

How To Improving Problem-Solving Skills

But if they know what truth feels like and what a lie feels like, and that has to be taught by you, and hopefully you've got that spirit of light with you and you can show them examples of truth versus lie as you go throughout your daily life, then they won't fall victim to those lies of the bully. In my "Teaching Self-Government Parenting course" that I'm most known for, I teach a problem-solving skill that is called SODAS, and it doesn't mean a drink. 

It's an acronym that stands for situation, options, disadvantages, advantages, solutions. When I was doing treatment foster care for troubled teens, this was a problem-solving skill that I learned and utilized extensively to help these teens not bully and not be bullied. 

So, what I would do with my children is I would sit down with them and a piece of paper, now I have these special journals that have the worksheets for the SODAS exercises in them but you could make your own if you wanted to and basically you write situation. The parent puts the situation, it must be open ended which means that no decision was made at the end of the situation. 

The decision has to come in the next step which is the optional step. So, then the person comes up with options. There can be many options, usually, there are at least 3 options for how to handle a situation then comes the disadvantages to each one of those options even the right choice has disadvantages. Then there are the advantages to each one of those right and wrong choices as well. 

There are advantages to a wrong choice that's why a person makes a wrong choice. Then there is the solution. The child fills out the entire sheet either with you or on their own and then you discuss their solutions and the thought patterns. So, you could use this problem-solving exercise to help a child so that they don't fall victim to bullying or if some bullying has already occurred before, which they don't want to have again. 

How To Practice Problem-Solving Exercises For Bullying Situations

What you would do is you would make a situation like, "Somebody tells me that nobody likes me and that I should do whatever they want, now what are my options? Either I say okay and I do whatever they want and I believe them or me the question, whether they're telling me, is true or not and I tell myself a truth that no, people do like me because I have this friend and this friend and they're not in charge of me or maybe a 3rd option would be I disagree appropriately with that person," that's another skill that you're going to teach a person how to do. It's a really powerful, motivating self-government skill, then they're going to list all the disadvantages, advantages, and the solution that they pick. 

These problem-solving exercises not only help develop the prefrontal cortex of the brain but they help the child develop in maturity as well and they help a child know how to solve their problems before the problems are even present. When a person is preparing not to be bullied, they need to practice going through a scenario in their head again and again of not being bullied especially if they've already had some experiences with bullying occur. I know that bullying can seem overwhelming and we're all afraid that it's going to happen to our loved ones but we don't need to worry if we get them prepared. 

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